Someday you’ll have to have “the talk” with your kids.  You know, ‘the birds and the bees’ discussion.  Finding a school can lead to the same type of avoidance.  My husband and I didn’t have “the talk” about our elementary school choice until we were already more than a little panicked.  Before the process snowballs out of control take the time to discuss what you (and your co-parent) want — before you go to all the open houses and read all the brochures and talk to all the neighbors and…

What are you looking for in a school? Take a moment to write a list of what you’re looking for in a school.  Ask your partner (if you’re co-parenting) to do the same.  If you’re having trouble making a list, just describe what you see in your mind’s eye.

Each of us has preconceived ideas about what our child’s future school will look like.  If you’re going through this process with a partner it’s important to see if your ideas match theirs.  One friend I have went to a private high school, whereas her husband went to a large public school.  This had never, ever been an issue in their marriage. After each school they didn’t seem to see the same strengths and weaknesses and finally realized that she preferred schools similar to what she experienced (small and private) and he preferred schools similar to his experience (large and public).  Had they sat down early in the process for “the talk” they could have seen each other’s perspective and skipped a lot of incredulous disagreement.

Make a list of “needs” and “wants”. Once you sit down with general ideas, start to list specifics.  People do this when buying a house.  Needs: 3 bedrooms and eat-in kitchen.  Wants: fireplace, yard, parking spot.  Again, find out if these match between you and your partner.

It took us a long time to make a list. When I finally sat down and Continue reading →