I was speaking to an ivy-educated friend (and parent) the other night about Philadelphia elementary school choices. He halted the conversation when he said (I’m paraphrasing), ‘I don’t mean to be rude, but I essentially am looking at one thing in a school. How likely is it that my child will be able to get into an ivy or near-ivy level college?’
The politically correct side of me was immediately taken aback. What about diversity? What about community? What about supporting the local public school effort? Then I became jealous of his clarity. His family is fortunate enough to be able to afford private school, but when it comes down to it, so am I, and so are many people that I know, whether we care to admit it. It is certainly more socially acceptable to downplay our economic status. Parents spend in the neighborhood of $10K a child per year for day care, it’s not that great a financial leap to most private schools for kindergarten. Over the last couple of months I am learning about the school choices of many of my friends and casual acquaintances who have children starting this Fall. These are people who I know share my values. If you had asked me last year, I would have guessed that they would have chosen a public school. I have been surprised not only by the number of people who have been choosing private school, but by the fact that they all seem to be choosing one particular private school. What is that about?
It made me think about a possible scenario. Let’s say that tomorrow, private school cost 80% less than it does today. Would the majority of the population choose it? More specifically, how many people who express a belief in public education today would be selecting private schools for their children tomorrow? I think that a lot of us would be changing our tunes. Myself included. I admit it. I like to tell people that I went to public school and advocate for public education in areas like diversity and community. But how much of that argument is genuine? Do people rationalize their preference of public schools because they consciously or subconsciously don’t want to spend the money? I am not pointing fingers at all, I am talking about myself. In my heart and mind, I believe in community and diversity, but I believe in giving my children the best opportunity to succeed in life more. I act like those goals are not mutually exclusive, but are they? Certainly those goals could be achieved with a carefully chosen private school, with more assurance of the opportunities available, right? I look at myself and realize that it is kind of a joke for me to cite my own public school experiences. I went to an all-white affluent suburban high school. It was public for people who could afford to live there, which of course meant that it wasn’t really public at all. My hypocrisy has not been conscious. On the contrary–I think that the conversation with my friend opened up my mind to the idea that I have these conflicting thoughts and ideas, and that money is a part of the equation, that achievement is part of the equation. I suspect that the common choices that many of my friends are making is simply reflecting the fact that they are coming to terms with their conflicting attitudes toward community, diversity, and public versus private education just like I am. The fact that they are coming to a similar conclusion as one another may reflect a choice that reflects a honest balance of their similar educational values.
I appreciate your comments. I meet too many more affluent parents/socially-politically connected parents who will "brag" about sending their children to public schools but won't recognize that their children are at "privileged" public schools such as Penn Alexander, Masterman, Central, Meredith, Greenfield, etc. K-8 schools in affluent Philadelphia neighborhoods offer more than schools in my neighborhood (Frankford). The magnet middle/high schools are highly selective and "cream off" students. This is the same as private schools.
Breaking: our society is segregated by class! Easier to see in a big city than a nice suburb where everyone seems the same, right?
The "cream off" argument has a lot of problems with it. Whether a school is good or bad should be somewhat distinct from the kids that go to that school. Children should not be looked upon as resources that can be used to make a school better. It's a wrong way of thinking.
Most private schools cost more than 10k/year, and it gets more expensive as they get older. But if you can afford that and like the school why not go for it? I don't think anyone is obligated to send their kid to public school just on principle. You support the public school with taxes.
What is the private school so popular among your crowd that you refer to in the post?
Interesting post. I certainly wouldn't brag about attending public school if you went to a superior suburban school with above average household incomes. Most compare those schools, rightly so, with private schools more so than your everyday city school.
No, you can't find the same sense of diversity and community in a private school as you can in public school. That's underestimating how expensive private school is for most, how much that shrinks the pool of potential students, and how limited scholarships are at private schools. If private school were 80% less this would still be the case for the most part, its still much more expensive than free.
Its a bit of a joke to think elementary school gets you into an ivy. I think that shows how obsessed some parents have become with regards to schooling. Ever seen the documentary Nursery University? Speaking as someone who went to a college these parents want their kids to go to and helps with admissions for the area, this is the wrong way to approach elementary school selection. Get your child a good starting education, make them well rounded, make them interested in learning, make them appreciate what they have and remind them everyone doesn't have as much. And don't raise a brat. We turn down affluent straight A students from the best private schools every year, many times, they haven't got much else going on besides academics. Parents would do well to remember the acceptance rates at these top universities are very, very low.
If your friends want private school for their kids, its their choice, and can be a good one. Nothing wrong with it, nothing to feel guilty about. They should realize, however, that the entire class of the private school isn't getting into Harvard, Yale, Brown, and Stanford and to be ready for that reality. They might *gasp* only get into Penn State, Pitt, West Chester, and Delaware. A fate worse than death apparently for your friend, but a happy reality for many a family. Yet another way to show, we are talking about the affluent and privileged.
I would also love to know which private school they are choosing, or maybe you can list three, and make the other two decoys, if you don't want to mention just one specifically. I have a good guess at which school they are choosing though.